Symbol
by Thunder-Nari
Summary: MalRiver. It's always there. Wrapped around his hips like a lover's arms, holding him tight and secure. Strong and safe and always right where you need. It's Mal summed up in a handy strap of leather.


Wrote this one for Chlare. Mal's holster is just hot.

**Symbol**

**ThunderNari**

It's always there. Wrapped around his hips like a lover's arms, holding him tight and secure. Strong and safe and always right where you need. It's Mal summed up in a handy strap of leather. It's power and reliability. It's a mask to hide the fear.

She's never seen him without it before. Even on the ship, where it's safe and there's family. He wears it like a lifeline and whenever it's gone so is he.

He lies broken and bruised and he's not there. When he wakes, he's not there. He's not who he should be, damaged like she is. He wakes and looks around, reassures everyone that he's fine and snaps at Simon to get his rutting cold hands off of him. He sounds fine but she knows. She knows he's wrong, that he lost his strength, it lies as torn and broken as Mal is, and he's scared.

She rescues the strap of leather before anyone can dispose of it. Strap of leather. That's really all it is now and now it lays in a twisted heap on her bed as she stares at it. She takes it in her hands, rubs fingers over supple leather. Mal took good care of it, knowing it's value. She knows it too. And now she can take the same care. She has what she needs, taken from the engine room when little Kaylee wasn't looking. Hopefully the tools won't be missed and hopefully they'll do the job that River needs.

It's not the first patch job that's been done. Lines from previous tears show. Scratches and scuffs and scars. She could smooth them out but they tell too much and she can't take the memories away.

She works on it all night and she times it perfectly.

Mal is stubborn. Never stop for too long, it's how people get hurt. By lying down when they shouldn't. He's struggling his way out the infirmary doors on unsteady feet when she walks up the corridor. She steps right up, right into his path and into his space. She hides the belt behind her back, wrapped around her hands, but he still zeros in on it and looks betrayed that it could be in someone else's hands.

He grabs hold of her arm – no kid gloves from Mal, he knows what she is – and jerks her hand out from hiding. "What the gorram hell are you..." He trails off when he catches sight of his holster properly.

"Not just leather anymore, I fixed it for you."

"You...you fixed it. How-?" He cuts off as she gently pushes him back against the wall. He doesn't resist and she knows that it's Simon's drugs running through him. He presses himself to the wall instead and looks at her in some sort of awe that just isn't him. None of this is him. Stands there like he doesn't know what to do. Like he's naked.

She drops to her knees in front of him and holds the holster tight to her, almost not wanting to give it up, to see if she could take it's strength but Mal needs it even more than her.

"River, what are you doing? Get..." But he trails off. Smoothers, River knows them too well and it's hard to hold anything for more than a moment with them. She won't get a better chance than this and she wants to do the honours. She can't get her own strength back, then she can do it for someone else instead.

She wraps the thick strap around Mal's waist and feels it as Mal catches his breath. She cinches it, loose enough that it rides on his hips at an angle, just how Mal always has it, grooves in the buckle to show just where to stop. She looks up and Mal is just watching her, lips parted to drag in a breath as if he could feel the strength running back in to him. She likes to think he can and her fingers run, press, over the leather. Follow along the scratches and deeper indents, little depressions and imperfections. Mal shivers and she closes her eyes, running fingers over leather scars and wondering if Mal can feel them on the flesh ones.

Her fingers trace from the belt to the holster. No gun. Some things are off limits and Mal needs to be able to take some of his strength back for himself. Just one last thin strip of leather. She ties the knot snug to the inside of his leg and everything is suddenly complete. A part of Mal again, this living thing.

"It's okay now. You're okay." She rests her head against his hip with a sigh. Her fingers go back to absently stroking over the thick belt, selfishly trying to soak up a little of what she gave to Mal. But there's nothing for her, Mal needs it all and his hands on her shoulders tell her it's time to go.

She rises to her feet and gives a baffled Mal a smile. He tries to keep hold of her, no doubt back to his old self and he wants an explanation, but she's gone like smoke, wisp of her dress around the corner.

Timed perfectly. She can hear Simon coming up and lecturing Mal for being out of bed already and grins when Mal argues back.


End file.
